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Thread: A summary of living without a penis

  1. #1

    A summary of living without a penis

    I've been without my Penis since April 2016.

    I still have my balls beneath which I have a reroute.

    I had the idea of getting my penis cut off when I was a kid. I managed to make it through my teens and my twenties without anymore thought to losing it. I had the best time with my penis, and a good deal, i'm talking a lot of people, got pleasure from it.

    When I hit my 30's, that idea of cutting it off came back and became an obsession that wouldn't let me go.

    Eventually I met a fellow who took it from me. I was 44. I'm 46 now.

    I fantasized about reaching down between my legs and not having it. Now that I can do that, I can tell you it's not that big of a deal. Your body adapts to it, after a good while, so does your brain.

    I can't tell you how many times I came from the idea of it getting cut off. Servicing a guy without having a distraction dangling between my legs, that guy gets precision attention. I'm a lot better at fellatio than I use to be. I handle cock like i'm reading braille.

    Now I don't bother trying to masturbate.

    I was heavy into injecting my cock with alcohol back when I had it. I did it so much that I had lost all feeling in my shaft. I injected alcohol into the root as well, so I managed to do that enough that I killed a lot of sensation in that. Rubbing my root doesn't feel good enough to drive me to want to do it. I can cum that way, stimulating the root, but it's really tiresome. What's an orgasm like? Well you feel it building up, you hit the apex, and then nothing. It just runs out, you have to check to see if there is anything there. I usually go about two months before trying to relieve myself.

    I did actually have a wet dream a week or so ago. It was amazing. I was very surprised, being that I haven't had one of those since I was a teenager...

    I've tried riding a dildo and stimulating my prostate, that's worked a few times, but I don't enjoy toys, I'd rather have the real thing.

    I look at porn and I enjoy seeing cocks. Love watching a guy walk around with it protruding out in front of him, bouncing as he walks. Love watching a guy piss now, can't tell you how much I miss pissing standing up... I love cock so much more than I did when I had one of my own. You enjoy it because you know that you'll be leaving without one, so you better make the most of it while you have access to one.

    The down side to being dick-less, for me, is that you will meet guys, in passing, that make eye contact with you and they will smile, and your heart will beat hard. I can tell you from all the times I've experienced this, you just have to walk away from them. That's a bummer. You have to be prepared because most guys out there want a guy with a cock.

    I've been on different hook up apps. Most guys are curious, they ask me questions. Some guys are mean about it. Some guys are turned on by it and just want to jerk off to my pictures and my story. I've noticed that the younger generation, guys in their early to mid 20's don't seem to mind it as much. It's been a weird journey for sure....

    What gets me though is when they ask me why I did it, I can't give a straight answer anymore. Now that I've lived it, the "why" of it doesn't seem to matter anymore.

  2. #2

    Re: A summary of living without a penis

    Thanks for the interesting update, Bill! Please stick around on the Archive. It's always good to hear from you.

    One question: Has your libido declined or increased because you rarely or masturbate now?

  3. #3

    Re: A summary of living without a penis

    Declined. I actually have very little interest in sex.

  4. #4
    Fully Qualified Member T van Keel's Avatar
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    Re: A summary of living without a penis

    Thank you for sharing your experience. That's a really useful input.

    May I ask you if you have thoughts about additional castration in order to become a nullo?

  5. #5

    Re: A summary of living without a penis

    Do you think the decline and loss of interest in sex is because of the penectomy or because of age or other things in your life?

  6. #6

    Re: A summary of living without a penis

    No, I’ve had my testosterone levels checked, they are normal. I don’t have the normal stimuli my body has been use to, so I’ve changed mentally as well. I feel as though i have removed my sexuality. I don’t actively desire to be sexual. Keeping my testicles have not left me in a state of constant wanting. I’m more neutral with my feelings and desires....

  7. #7

    Re: A summary of living without a penis

    None whatsoever. I am perfectly content to keep my testicles

  8. #8

    Re: A summary of living without a penis

    Quote Originally Posted by ncbill71 View Post
    No, I’ve had my testosterone levels checked, they are normal. I don’t have the normal stimuli my body has been use to, so I’ve changed mentally as well. I feel as though i have removed my sexuality. I don’t actively desire to be sexual. Keeping my testicles have not left me in a state of constant wanting. I’m more neutral with my feelings and desires....
    I guess then that all the stories on the Archive of men going crazy with constant frustration after having a penectomy but keeping their testicles are just fictional fantasies. It appears not to work that way, based on your experience and that of a few others I've spoken too. It makes me wonder about myself and my penectomy plans.

  9. #9

    Re: A summary of living without a penis

    Quote Originally Posted by alexsmith View Post
    I guess then that all the stories on the Archive of men going crazy with constant frustration after having a penectomy but keeping their testicles are just fictional fantasies. It appears not to work that way, based on your experience and that of a few others I've spoken too. It makes me wonder about myself and my penectomy plans.
    Please be sure of your orientation - there are no doubts that many men would be interested in you without your penis and be willing to engage in short or longer term relations but I strongly doubt that many women would be. If that is not a problem for you then stories of frustration are probably irrelevant. Do not however write off the power of testosterone to control your attitudes and feelings in life - I believe that control over testosterone levels is more potent that having a penis or not.

  10. #10
    Nullo Since June 23, 2015 Losethem's Avatar
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    Re: A summary of living without a penis

    Quote Originally Posted by alexsmith View Post
    I guess then that all the stories on the Archive of men going crazy with constant frustration after having a penectomy but keeping their testicles are just fictional fantasies.
    Yup. That sums it up.
    Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.

  11. #11
    Am I banned? Eeeek!!! moi621's Avatar
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    Re: A summary of living without a penis

    Quote Originally Posted by ncbill71 View Post
    Declined. I actually have very little interest in sex.

    You upload on tumblr, si ?

    If so you might share a link to your tumblr page.

  12. #12

    Re: A summary of living without a penis

    Quote Originally Posted by moi621 View Post

    You upload on tumblr, si ?

    If so you might share a link to your tumblr page.
    I'm sure he won't mind. Here is Bill's tumblr.

    http://bentblue.tumblr.com/archive

  13. #13

    Re: A summary of living without a penis

    I have always been Gay - I have always been Versatile when it came to my preference of top and bottom. I have no doubt as to my orientation. Not having a dick and having balls does not make for chronic frustration. That is a myth perpetuated by fantasy. I fell into that category at one time and I'm here to tell you, from my perspective, having your dick cut off and keeping your balls changes you in more ways than you think. I feel oddly peaceful the vast majority of my time. I do feel separated from the norm of all males have a penis and women have a vagina. The design of nature being that a penis must penetrate something and a vagina must be penetrated has left me feeling in-between somehow. I went from being a sexually active person who enjoyed every aspect of getting off, to being someone who rarely thinks about it.

    I lead a normal life otherwise, and I am not walking around on a regular basis missing my cock, my balls do not ache from being constantly full of cum. Your body adapts. Do not fall into the myth of fantasy, that will lead you to an end that you don't want to experience.

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