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Thread: New member

  1. #1

    Post New member

    Hello.
    I'm 25 years old antisexual male, who wants to get free from sexual desires.
    First some backstory. I'm a virgin, well kinda. I never had sexual interaction with anyone or had a girlfriend, still it's hard to feel yourself a virgin when you have these fantazies/desires popping up from time to time and masturbations of course. I first felt this disguisting desire when I was mere child, maybe 4 years old, it was really pathetic. All my life I was fighting this inner beast, my top result is 2 months without masturbation, which I achieved last year. I DIFINITELY don't enjoy this, well some sick part of me does, some kind of parasitic prostate-brain. My main concern is that, it's very time-consuming, I didn't count, but I think I masturbated more than 4000 times. For me now it's like, 2-3-4 days without masturbation, then come 1-2 days of masturbation. Sometimes I can hold him off for a longer time, sometimes not. This monster raped my personality, HE HAS TO GO. I wouldn't be less me without this monstrosity. Unfortunately I don't have enough money for now for an operation or expensive drugs, so for NOW, I'll just like to reduce masturbations to as few as possible. Will appriciate if someone would recommend a certain diet. I already have found this list on forums:
    1. Liquorice
    2. Soy
    3. Mint
    4. Quinine
    5. Corn Flakes
    Just came from the shop and bought 5 bottles of liquorice syrup. Would like to know any other food that will help to drop this testosterone-beast DOWN to the pit. While willpower is a tremendous weapon, it needs backup! What helped me greatly is an empathy. I learned to compare, to project myself into other people, male or female, to depersonalize myself, to look at the situation from different angles. However compensating systems this body has are very well built. Mostly in the morning I tend to temporary forget about hate, revulsion and frustrations, and this is when the beast with its fantazies appears. I am yet to learn how to confront him in the morning.
    Good thing is I'm not circumcised, and have a phimosis, which gave me more reason not engage in any relationships, because full erections give me pain.
    And obviously I'm not planning to have any adopted children or something. I'm not exactly healthy, and think I have 10-15 years tops, so I don't need any kids to look after me when I'm old, cause I'm not gonna live that long. All my possesions will be passed to another eunuch or antisexual, so our community will accumulate capital faster.
    Sorry if this stream of my consciousness is not organised and painful to read, English isn't my first language (Which is still no excuse of course).

    P.S. Wanted to add, while I am positively thinking about physical elimination of the beast, spiritual victory would be preferable. So if there are people who have successfully beaten the monster without invasive procedures, I'd like to hear advices. Now, let's not make my last sentence confuse you. I'm planning physical elimination of the beast (I'm not gonna die as a physically male-goyim), but my spiritual domination over him ideally needs to come first. And should I fail in my quest to cast him out, I will use more invasive techniques!
    Last edited by TheSumOfHerParts; 03-19-2017 at 10:36 AM.

  2. #2
    I am a gentle gentle autumn rain erikboy's Avatar
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    Sep Fri 2002
    Posts
    491

    Re: New member

    What a passionate post. It is like a verbal explosion, full of discontent. But welcome to the zoo!
    I can relate to your feelings somewhat, as I see my sexuality and my person to be two completely separate entities. Sometimes I feel my sexuality is forcefully tied to me.
    But I do not hate my sexuality that much... Sometimes I don't like it. Sometimes it gives me pleasures.
    I've tried abstination, my record was about 3 or 4 months, can't remember anymore, but it was actually much worse than just to give in. Mentally straining as my life consisted mostly of resisting to desire.
    Then, I tried chemical castration. It worked, but had many negative effects that I really didn't like. With castration effects be warned! Effects severily varies from person to person. if someone said that he did not have any depression, it means that you could have severe depression. Or if some said he got grossly fat - you may not gain fat all. etc.
    For me the most negative effects were: very bad sleep, I woke up after few hours of shallow sleep and couldn't get sleep again. Constant tiredness, pain in muscles after even slightly more physical activity and pain in joints. I coped well with cold and hot flashes, physical weakness, motivation loss, emotional swings. No T eunuchs say that some of these negative effects would go away after a while, like hot flashes, but i couldn't comment on that.
    There are many personal experiences avaible to read. But for yourself you need to go through short chemical castration trial period, before you do anything irreversible.
    may be just a reduction of your T-levels works best, not a castration. you need to find it out by yourself, as we aren't doctors here and can talk of our own experiences.
    Anyway, good luck!

  3. #3

    Re: New member

    I would endorse Erikboy s comments entirely.I have always been a compulsive mastabator ,used to be concerned about it but over time just accepted it.After much reading I decided to try chemical castration. I was on it for about 6 months and mostly loved it . I did struggle with weight gain, which is why I stopped. It took a few months to get back to normal.It is difficult to describe how it feels to be even a chemically castrated male but it is really nice.Mor reading and after about 18 months I went back onto chem cast.It really felt good and this time I was prepared and managed my weight. It didnt stop my compulsive masturbation but it did reduce the habit somewhat.After about a year I was really convinced the balls had to go and so went down the Calcium chloride route. I think my happiest day ever was when the balls were removed.
    Yes I went through all the physical problems Erikboy described.I have managed to find a low level of T that has removed the odd effects whilst still feeling like a eunuch.An occasional hot flush is ok as it reminds you you are a eunuch.
    My summary is ,dont rush into castration, nice as it is, experiment with Chem Cast before permanent removal.
    stephaniesteve

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