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Thread: vaporous entities and musings (in other words - BS)

  1. #391
    I really do look like my avatar Dave's Avatar
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    Key West cats

    The Curator of the Hemingway Home and Museum in Key West stayed on Key West. The building is made of 18in thick limestone blocks and sits 16 feet above sea level with 15 foot high ceilings on the first floor. They took in 54 polydactyl cats and rode out the hurricane.
    No word on helping the mice...
    “They also call it the Winged Isle. Some say it is because the island, if seen from above, would look like butterfly wings. And I do not know the truth of it.” Then, “ ‘And what is truth?’ said jesting Pilate.” From: The Truth Is A Cave In The Black Mountains by Neil Gaiman.

  2. #392
    I really do look like my avatar Dave's Avatar
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    what movie is referenced in this one word

    Movie Reference:

    Phartiphukborlz
    “They also call it the Winged Isle. Some say it is because the island, if seen from above, would look like butterfly wings. And I do not know the truth of it.” Then, “ ‘And what is truth?’ said jesting Pilate.” From: The Truth Is A Cave In The Black Mountains by Neil Gaiman.

  3. #393
    I really do look like my avatar Dave's Avatar
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    Re: what movie is referenced in this one word

    Kleopatra die Peitsche Dame
    “They also call it the Winged Isle. Some say it is because the island, if seen from above, would look like butterfly wings. And I do not know the truth of it.” Then, “ ‘And what is truth?’ said jesting Pilate.” From: The Truth Is A Cave In The Black Mountains by Neil Gaiman.

  4. #394
    I really do look like my avatar Dave's Avatar
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    Alien Abduction

    I'm not the world's biggest fan of SNL but when I see the four words
    "Alien Abduction, Kate McKinnon" together in one sentence, I know
    the result is going to be too insanely funny to miss:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_c...&v=kELDEdMbkyg
    “They also call it the Winged Isle. Some say it is because the island, if seen from above, would look like butterfly wings. And I do not know the truth of it.” Then, “ ‘And what is truth?’ said jesting Pilate.” From: The Truth Is A Cave In The Black Mountains by Neil Gaiman.

  5. #395
    I really do look like my avatar Dave's Avatar
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    Tom Gauld

    I've been talking about this new cook book titled "Baking with Kafka" it's by Tom Gauld

    https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry...ection=us_arts
    “They also call it the Winged Isle. Some say it is because the island, if seen from above, would look like butterfly wings. And I do not know the truth of it.” Then, “ ‘And what is truth?’ said jesting Pilate.” From: The Truth Is A Cave In The Black Mountains by Neil Gaiman.

  6. #396
    I really do look like my avatar Dave's Avatar
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    knowledge of the China Sea

    I need someone who knows the seas between Krakatoa and Java to proofread some directions in a short story I wrote.
    Someone who sailed those waters would be ideal. Someone nautical with an understanding of shipping routes over there would be good.

    I just don't want to be like that movie -- "Krakatoa, East of Java"
    “They also call it the Winged Isle. Some say it is because the island, if seen from above, would look like butterfly wings. And I do not know the truth of it.” Then, “ ‘And what is truth?’ said jesting Pilate.” From: The Truth Is A Cave In The Black Mountains by Neil Gaiman.

  7. #397
    I really do look like my avatar Dave's Avatar
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    a heartwarming tale of a lefty snail ...

    He didn't die a virgin!

    This Tale Of A Snail Finding Another Snail To Fuck Then Promptly Dying Will Warm Your Black Heart
    Evan HurstOctober 16, 2017 - 5:40pm

    https://wonkette.com/624301/this-tal...ur-black-heart

    RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?
    Wonkers, this story from NPR has everything. There are #ScienceFacts and #Sadness and #Sexxx and #Snails in it! OH YES and there is #Romance!

    So, we were not previously aware of the saga of Jeremy, a British snail with a very rare condition where its shell twisted to the left. (Snails are hermaphroditic, therefore this is not his shell or her shell, OK?) Now, this would be no big deal, but snails with left-twisting shells are actually incapable of fucking snails with the usual right-twisting shells. This means Jeremy was a dork virgin!

    Anyway, Jeremy died last week, but don’t worry, because NPR reports that before it went to be with the Lord, Jeremy, who was always DTF but never could seem to meet the right snail, did some FUCKIN’:

    Reader, before he died, Jeremy procreated.

    That’s right. The little lefty did it.

    YEAAAAAAAAAAAH, everybody please cheer for the snail sex!

    So basically some scientists in the United Kingdom were very concerned with Jeremy’s love life, so they updated Jeremy’s Tinder profile to say, “I WOULD LIKE TO FUCK SOME LEFTY SNAILS PLZ.” And lo and behold, two lefties were found! There was Lefty, whose snail parents couldn’t be bothered to come up with an actual name, and who is a British snail like Jeremy. There was also Tomeau, who was from the exotic land of Majorca, Spain. Tomeau traveled a long way!

    But you know, when snails gotta fuck, snails gotta fuck. By the way, do you know how snails fuck? This is obviously NSFW, but NPR ‘splains it:

    “The way snails mate is “fantastically bizarre,” [evolutionary biologist Angus] Davison says. The carnal act is known as ‘traumatic insemination,’ and copulation kicks off by mutually stabbing each other with ‘love darts’ — tiny calcium spears that transfer a hormone. Snails are simultaneous hermaphrodites, he says, meaning that they are both male and female at the same time and will ‘reciprocally fertilize each other’ and ultimately each produce offspring.

    OK, so snails are kind of weird, you guys.

    But anyway, this was great. Jeremy was going to get to go on dates with Tomeau and Lefty and, we dunno, maybe do a rose ceremony at the end once Jeremy figured out which snail was the hawtest, but then TOMEAU AND LEFTY WENT ON A DATE WITH EACH OTHER AND REFUSED TO STOP BONING:

    It seemed like a happy ending. But then, as [NPR journalist Merrit Kennedy] reported this spring, “what had been a snail fairy tale has turned into something of a tragedy for Jeremy. Its two possible mates proceeded to mate with each other instead. They’ve been feverishly reproducing, with three batches of eggs between them.”

    Motherfucker! Is that not always just the way? Lefty and Tomeau got all the snail ass, and Jeremy, whose plight was entire whole point of this, did none of it. Why, if Jeremy had been a human rather than a very unique snail, Jeremy could have ended up being one of those weird Manosphere douchebags Robyn writes about every Saturday.

    (We are unable to science-confirm whether Jeremy was in fact a dick and deserved the rejection. NPR doesn’t say and the other snails are not available to dish on this drama, because Snails. Can’t. Talk.)

    But hallelujah, because we guess Jeremy and Tomeau finally saw each other under the bleachers one day, looked at each other all “How YOU doin’?” and immediately engaged in full throttle no-holds-barred snail coitus. THREE TIMES.

    Short version: Tomeau got pregnant with ALL THE SNAILS. (Fifty-six, to be exact!) Some of them are Lefty’s, and some are Jeremy’s, and they all lived happily ever after, except Jeremy, because like we said he died.

    Did we not say this story had everything? If you want to know more about the science of it, click over to NPR. If you’re shallow like us and just want to make snail-fucking jokes, stay right here in your OPEN THREAD.

    Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

    https://wonkette.com/624301/this-tal...ur-black-heart
    “They also call it the Winged Isle. Some say it is because the island, if seen from above, would look like butterfly wings. And I do not know the truth of it.” Then, “ ‘And what is truth?’ said jesting Pilate.” From: The Truth Is A Cave In The Black Mountains by Neil Gaiman.

  8. #398

    Re: a heartwarming tale of a lefty snail ...

    Oh, hell yes! Snail porn! --FLO--
    Condensing fact from the vapor of nuance.

  9. #399
    I really do look like my avatar Dave's Avatar
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    the site of a bus

    I have good news and I have bad news
    -the good: the world didn't end today
    -the bad: you have to go to work tomorrow


    https://www.space.com/38502-bus-size...rth-flyby.html

    Newfound Bus-Size Asteroid Will Zoom Safely By Earth Today
    By Steve Spaleta, Space.com Senior Producer | October 19, 2017 07:20am ET
    A bus-size asteroid will zoom between Earth and the moon today (Oct. 19), but poses no threat of hitting our planet.
    The recently discovered space rock is designated asteroid 2017 TD6. It will fly by Earth at a range of 119,000 miles (191,000 kilometers) when it makes its closest approach, which is calculated to occur at 2:53 p.m. EDT (1853 GMT). The average distance between the Earth and the moon, for comparison, is about 238,855 miles (384,400 km).

    Asteroid 2017 TD6 is estimated to be between 32 and 72 feet (9.9 to 22 meters) wide, according to NASA's Center for Near Earth Object Studies (CNEOS). In comparison, the asteroid that exploded over Chelyabinsk, Russia, in 2013 was determined to be approximately 65 feet (20 m) wide. [In Images: Potentially Dangerous Asteroids]
    “They also call it the Winged Isle. Some say it is because the island, if seen from above, would look like butterfly wings. And I do not know the truth of it.” Then, “ ‘And what is truth?’ said jesting Pilate.” From: The Truth Is A Cave In The Black Mountains by Neil Gaiman.

  10. #400
    I really do look like my avatar Dave's Avatar
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    equus

    I saw EQUUS at the Public Theater today.
    It is a good drama, very intense and possibly disturbing for horse lovers.

    The plot is about the psychiatrist who is sent a new patient -- a 17 year old boy who blinded six horses one night in the barn where he had a weekend job. A court official wants the psychiatrist to find out what happened and why the young man snapped.
    Onstage, the six horses and played by men wearing symbolic horse heads and metal hooves that stomp the stage.
    There are four or so more characters that are part of the story.

    Peter Schafer's play was first performed in 1977 with Peter Firth as the boy and Alec McGowan as the psychiatrist.

    Yes, it has full nudity but at that point in the play, the drama is at its peak and the nudity is not lewd.

    Sidney Lumet did a motion picture with Peter Firth and Richard Burton. It's online if you want to see something intense. Be aware that there are three versions of the movie with varying amounts of nudity or lack thereof and varying amounts of missing dialog and scenes to make the movie "pg-13" and suitable for TV. That's a good way to screw up a good drama.
    “They also call it the Winged Isle. Some say it is because the island, if seen from above, would look like butterfly wings. And I do not know the truth of it.” Then, “ ‘And what is truth?’ said jesting Pilate.” From: The Truth Is A Cave In The Black Mountains by Neil Gaiman.

  11. #401
    I really do look like my avatar Dave's Avatar
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    salvage the dead

    I added a ghost story to my website https://fragments.ws titled "Salvage the Dead" ...
    I'll be adding short stories to my website at two week intervals.
    Last edited by Dave; 10-30-2017 at 06:42 PM. Reason: it's Monday,
    “They also call it the Winged Isle. Some say it is because the island, if seen from above, would look like butterfly wings. And I do not know the truth of it.” Then, “ ‘And what is truth?’ said jesting Pilate.” From: The Truth Is A Cave In The Black Mountains by Neil Gaiman.

  12. #402
    I really do look like my avatar Dave's Avatar
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    stupid

    When did the world become stupid?

    (Please don't answer that. I feel relieved just saying it today.)
    “They also call it the Winged Isle. Some say it is because the island, if seen from above, would look like butterfly wings. And I do not know the truth of it.” Then, “ ‘And what is truth?’ said jesting Pilate.” From: The Truth Is A Cave In The Black Mountains by Neil Gaiman.

  13. #403

    Re: stupid

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave View Post
    When did the world become stupid?

    (Please don't answer that. I feel relieved just saying it today.)
    Why ask if you don,t want an answer? It is just some of the people in it.

  14. #404
    I really do look like my avatar Dave's Avatar
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    Re: stupid

    Quote Originally Posted by Ernie of Maine View Post
    Why ask if you don,t want an answer? It is just some of the people in it.
    I was screaming at the TV for about 20 minutes and had to make a comment to someone, somewhere, anywhere.
    I didn't want to write what I really thought because a) it was vile beyond description and b) politics (forbidden).
    I get these moods sometimes. Yesterday was a bad day for bad moods.

    There are times when I think that banging my head off the wall and whimpering softly is preferable to listening to the news because it's less painful.
    “They also call it the Winged Isle. Some say it is because the island, if seen from above, would look like butterfly wings. And I do not know the truth of it.” Then, “ ‘And what is truth?’ said jesting Pilate.” From: The Truth Is A Cave In The Black Mountains by Neil Gaiman.

  15. #405
    Administrative Weirdo Paolo's Avatar
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    Re: stupid

    I don't know when the world became stupid, Dave. But it's really starting to get to me.
    It seems that on top of that, you can't even walk down the street without someone holding out their hand for payment for some reason or another.
    Stories (the file) can be emailed to eafictionarchive at treemail dot net

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