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dicklesstanuki

Orgasm without a penis: Pre-Op thoughts. (Explicit)

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I wanted to write a little post before my upcoming penectomy on 4/22/19 to record my thoughts about sex, the practical concerns of my procedure and the ways I'm preparing myself to contrast with the posts I'll write about my post-op experience. It's my hope that it will prove of some use to others considering this for themselves.

Advice I've gotten over the years seems to point at doing what you can to realize, --however much it can be realized--what sex will be like after the penis is removed. Following this advice, I've experimented with ways to cum without using the penis.

There are a variety of routes that I've read about and explored: anal stimulation of the prostate, electrostim, "milking" the prostate, stimulation of nearby erogenous zones, nipple play, and hands-free orgasms. None of these have really worked for me, so I decided to do some experimenting on my own theories.

What works best for me is a prosthetic penis. Perhaps it's due to the cognitive disconnect i have from my actual member, but wearing a realistic dildo--the kind that has a firm core and a soft outside--with the right strap-on harness gives me just what I need to cum. When I'm wearing it and I touch it, it feels like it's my cock and my brain "fills in" the missing sensation.

This orgasmic experience is different. Often I don't grow fully erect and when I do cum, the semen dribbles out. I've had to squeeze it out like the last bit of toothpaste from a tube. The orgasm is not just centered on the crotch, either. My scalp starts to tingle, and the feeling runs down my arms and back to every erogenous zone. Often it takes a few of these intense tingling waves to leak cum. Touching my member is a one-and-done experience. Quick and satisfying and not as intense.

When I talk about this to friends, they ask if I might be stimulating the penis because of the repetitive motion from the base of the dildo. I was doubtful, but I decided to test it. I wore a jock strap with an athletic cup underneath the harness. This prevented any stimulation to the area, and I achieved the same results. I have further experimented with just attaching it to my desk and stroking it entirely separate from my body. I didn't try to get to get to full satisfaction, but it did still give me a lot of the same feelings that I get at the beginning of masturbation.

At this point, I have no clear idea if this is going to work for me post-surgery. I have read some accounts from other penectomized people that seem to have some similarities to this when it comes to their own orgasms. I haven't read any accounts of using a prosthetic like this, but the way orgasm manifests seems similar. I'm curious what it will be like after my penis is removed. I'm also curious if I'll experience a phantom limb sensation, which some amputees say they feel with their prosthetic. I'd also like to be able to orgasm without it, so we'll see how that goes.

This is just what I've done to try to prepare. All of this exploration is good, and I think I have a good chance of having exciting (if different) sexual experiences afterwards. This might not work for me at all. Still, I feel I'll be more satisfied not having a penis then having all of the remaining orgasms I could have in my life. Even if I don't orgasm again, I feel that I'll adjust with this weight off my crotch and off my mind.



P.S.
For reference, I'm using the Spareparts brand dildo harness for men as it accommodates my genitals. I'm pretty fat, so its highly adjustable straps are a blessing. The dildo I'm using is a Vixskin, but I cant remember the name of this particular one. As it's silicone, I find that no damage to it is done by the Elbow Grease brand lubricant, and that is the longest-lasting for my needs. (That brand is not condom-compatible, so I'm careful what I use it on.) If anyone reading this decides to experiment with this method, I'd love to hear about it in the comments.

Comments

  1. Begoneboy's Avatar
    It'll be a good while before you will be wanting much in the way of sex after getting rid of the damn thing. For one, there's going to be a good bit of time pass before pain never returns. Surgery or amputation as is the case in this doesn't really remove all nerve endings as you will soon discover. After a year or two have gone by you still won't have much desire for sex until such a time as you begin replacing some hormone levels. I know, many say there are no hormones to deal with after castration. Our bodies produce hormones of different sorts to make up for lack of what they need. Unfortunately they don't quite get it right. I use estrogen which increased the desire for sex and actually causes a good bit of stimulation of the adrenal output. Once that adrenal gland settles down and begins to use what is available orgasm can happen without physical stimulation. You did describe quite a few of what will become more normal with your experiments. But truth be known, it totally depends on many other factors. In my case enough estrogen abuse developed breasts which actually became quite sexually aroused which really adds to the overall experience of orgasm. and believe it or not, weight loss adds to it all. I get aroused at my present weight 145 pounds at 5'9" by simple touching of my legs by somebody else. That didn't happen at 200 pounds of weight. SO many MANY different things come into play not to lessen the effects to the pituitary gland after years of no testosterone and a lot of estrogen. Without "T" the pituitary gland will actually become larger in size over time which will also stimulate other sexual senses along the way and react differently with the addition of "E" over a long time. WHile I became nullified in my early 30s it wasn't until my late 40s to early 50s that these effects became rather apparent to me. Now in my early 60s I cannot seem to get enough sex and the orgasm is ALWAYS the best part.
  2. dicklesstanuki's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Begoneboy
    It'll be a good while before you will be wanting much in the way of sex after getting rid of the damn thing. For one, there's going to be a good bit of time pass before pain never returns. Surgery or amputation as is the case in this doesn't really remove all nerve endings as you will soon discover. After a year or two have gone by you still won't have much desire for sex until such a time as you begin replacing some hormone levels. I know, many say there are no hormones to deal with after castration. Our bodies produce hormones of different sorts to make up for lack of what they need. Unfortunately they don't quite get it right. I use estrogen which increased the desire for sex and actually causes a good bit of stimulation of the adrenal output. Once that adrenal gland settles down and begins to use what is available orgasm can happen without physical stimulation. You did describe quite a few of what will become more normal with your experiments. But truth be known, it totally depends on many other factors. In my case enough estrogen abuse developed breasts which actually became quite sexually aroused which really adds to the overall experience of orgasm. and believe it or not, weight loss adds to it all. I get aroused at my present weight 145 pounds at 5'9" by simple touching of my legs by somebody else. That didn't happen at 200 pounds of weight. SO many MANY different things come into play not to lessen the effects to the pituitary gland after years of no testosterone and a lot of estrogen. Without "T" the pituitary gland will actually become larger in size over time which will also stimulate other sexual senses along the way and react differently with the addition of "E" over a long time. WHile I became nullified in my early 30s it wasn't until my late 40s to early 50s that these effects became rather apparent to me. Now in my early 60s I cannot seem to get enough sex and the orgasm is ALWAYS the best part.
    Hello! Thank you for this information regarding amputation and for the hormone information. The latter will be useful if I reconsider full nullification at some point. Right now I'm just getting my penis removed.

    Oddly, I'm actually on testosterone replacement therapy right now. While I identify as agender, I have low T and Low E. I had to choose one, so I opted to go for the hormone I'm more familiar with.

    Also! It's good to hear that I may develop a healthy sex life post-operation at some point if I'm patient. Thank you for that. <3
  3. KA.dick.'s Avatar
    That's a pretty cool idea. I haven't tried this method myself but the thought certainly has excited me, specifically the idea of using a clone a willy. Although I guess one could hardly recognise his own dick by touch if the shape is at least similar (back when I was doing banding/numbing, touching my numb dick felt quite foreign).

    Still there's something extra exciting about having a plastic copy of ones own dick I think. Not long ago I saw a post on Tumblr by some penectomy enthusiast who was showing off his hardon next to the clone with the caption "why do I need the original now?". That really got me going... Maybe that's why I haven't made a clone made yet; I probably couldn't resist anymore.

    Maybe consider making a clone yourself.

    Anyway I've wanted to write my 'explicit' post about my own experiences when it comes to orgasms without touching the thing, but in my case it's more simple and mechanical. I have to squeeze my balls between my thighs and then finish by means of nipple play. Pretty reliable and more pleasurable than regular j/o, but it takes a while to build up the need - can't do more often than once in a few days. Makes me wonder what effect not having a dick would make: it could go any number of ways. One thing that is a hassle is that by this method, I also tend to 'pull' on the dick skin from below, stimulating it almost directly. That effect would diminish or be gone after a penectomy I presume, making things potentially more difficult.

    Either way the bottom line I'm trying to get to is - it took me a long time to find this method. A good part of 10 years of experimentation I believe.
  4. dicklesstanuki's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by KA.dick.
    That's a pretty cool idea. I haven't tried this method myself but the thought certainly has excited me, specifically the idea of using a clone a willy. Although I guess one could hardly recognise his own dick by touch if the shape is at least similar (back when I was doing banding/numbing, touching my numb dick felt quite foreign).

    Still there's something extra exciting about having a plastic copy of ones own dick I think. Not long ago I saw a post on Tumblr by some penectomy enthusiast who was showing off his hardon next to the clone with the caption "why do I need the original now?". That really got me going... Maybe that's why I haven't made a clone made yet; I probably couldn't resist anymore.

    Maybe consider making a clone yourself.
    Actually, I do have one, haha! It came out pretty nice, too. Lots of fine detail. I even made a couple of chocolate ones and had a partner eat one in front of me. That was fun.

    My experience is that the material they provide in the clone-a-willy kit is a little too hard, though. It's very difficult to get it to feel 'right'. I've been thinking about trying to reproduce the squishy-outside-firm-inside effect of the vixskin dildoes on my own, but there's not a lot of information. It would require a lot of experimenting.

    Meanwhile it's a lot of fun to have a disembodied member for other reasons heheh.
    Anyway I've wanted to write my 'explicit' post about my own experiences when it comes to orgasms without touching the thing, but in my case it's more simple and mechanical. I have to squeeze my balls between my thighs and then finish by means of nipple play. Pretty reliable and more pleasurable than regular j/o, but it takes a while to build up the need - can't do more often than once in a few days. Makes me wonder what effect not having a dick would make: it could go any number of ways. One thing that is a hassle is that by this method, I also tend to 'pull' on the dick skin from below, stimulating it almost directly. That effect would diminish or be gone after a penectomy I presume, making things potentially more difficult.

    Either way the bottom line I'm trying to get to is - it took me a long time to find this method. A good part of 10 years of experimentation I believe.
    This is fascinating! I have a friend (who likes his dick and nuts quite a lot) who has a fetish for hands-free orgasms, but it took him a long time to get there too.
  5. Deepspace9odo's Avatar
    Do you hope that the result makes you look like you were born without a penis?
  6. dicklesstanuki's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Deepspace9odo
    Do you hope that the result makes you look like you were born without a penis?
    That would be cool! Though, I imagine there will be some scarring.
  7. Losethem's Avatar
    For what it's worth, there is no real way to understand how things will be for you without a penis, until you don't have a penis. Try as I might, I was unable to figure out how I would get pleasure without it. Still, I jumped on the table without hesitation to have my penis amputated knowing full well that the night before could be the last time I'd have an orgasm.

    I'm happy to report I need not have worried. So long as you're going with a doctor who knows a bit about nerve placement post-op, and works with other patients that have removed their penis, you'll be o.k. And it's MUCH better on the other side, once you've healed. I absolutely love my body now that I've had my penis removed.

    And for clarification, are you being nullified, or only having your penis removed?
  8. SylvianAddress's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Losethem
    So long as you're going with a doctor who knows a bit about nerve placement post-op
    This should be something to really emphasise, actually. Note how Dr. Peter Davis's method for the surgery specifically involves retaining the sensate tissue of the penis as an aid for sexual sensitivity, as well.
  9. dicklesstanuki's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Losethem
    For what it's worth, there is no real way to understand how things will be for you without a penis, until you don't have a penis. Try as I might, I was unable to figure out how I would get pleasure without it. Still, I jumped on the table without hesitation to have my penis amputated knowing full well that the night before could be the last time I'd have an orgasm.
    Yeah, I know I'm not going to be 100% sure before things happen, I've just taken myself as far as I can without actual Removal.

    I'm happy to report I need not have worried. So long as you're going with a doctor who knows a bit about nerve placement post-op, and works with other patients that have removed their penis, you'll be o.k. And it's MUCH better on the other side, once you've healed. I absolutely love my body now that I've had my penis removed.
    My doctor has worked in this area for quite some time and is an expert. We've talked over many possibilities before settling on the particulars of my procedure. I feel like I'm as ready as I can be after all this time.

    And for clarification, are you being nullified, or only having your penis removed?
    Just my penis. It's interesting. This seems to come up often even though I wrote about it in my previous posts and comments on this post... anyway. Yes, I am keeping my testicles because I have no particular gender association with them. They provide me some useful hormones and the potential for reproduction in the future. Also (since we're already in TMI land here) I do enjoy some mild ball torture when a partner is into it.

    And really a tanuki without his kintama is a poor tanuki indeed.
  10. dicklesstanuki's Avatar
    While I can appreciate the notion, this isn't really for me. I've read a bit about the experience of this kind of nerve placement vs outright removal. It's preferable to me to not have to deal with the described sensations.

    Additionally, my understanding is this only works if you're going to be a total nullo/smoothie. I'm keeping my testes. If the nerves were placed in my upper pubic area I might consider it. My understanding is that this is not a possibility.

    Since I'm able to bring myself to orgasm without stimulation and know I'll adapt regardless, I'm satisfied with my decision.
  11. Nidaho Rachel's Avatar
    I find it fascinating how the mind and body adapts to the loss of genitals, the brain is the biggest sexual organ. I often wonder what it would be like to live without a penis and genitals. I don't think I could just have the penis removed without having the testicles removed too. I find it inspiring to read posts from the ones that are nullified, most only regret that it didn't happen sooner.